The Silent Treatment

The Silent Treatment

'I really shouldn't be doing this over the phone,'                             first_name                             said, and then proceeded to anyway.

'                             @first_name                             thinks that our                             relative                             is                             derogatory_noun                             ,' I told my                             relative                             .                             @first_name                             said we need to see a                             specialist                             .'

So we loaded up the                             form_of_transportation                             and set out to investigate the nature of                             @first_name                             's claims. We talked to a                             professional                             , a                             professional                             , and came up with our judgment:                             @first_name                             was wrong. Maybe trying to do the right thing, maybe with the best of intentions, but wrong.

I explained my conclusion in a                             form_of_communication                             . I was thorough, thoughtful and left it at that. I also entreated                             first_name                             to come and find me and we could discuss                             @first_name                             's concerns face to face.

                            @first_name                             never did. But another                             form_of_communication                             came, this time with more pointed and direct jabs about my                             noun                             . And now a comparison between their                             noun                             and my                             noun                             .

I sent a                             noun                             , and explained myself patiently again, with another entreaty to come and discuss it personally.

Finally, the last straw:                             @first_name                             sent me a link to a website that described                             mental_disorder                             , which summed up                             @first_name                             's personal opinions. I was                             synonym:_angry                             .

I stewed and simmered. Still not one word in person; we had been friends for                             number                                                         measure_of_time                             , and this seemed to be stepping over a line. I finally wrote one last                             @form_of_communication                             , full of all the reasons that                             @first_name                             was wrong and concluding that the                             @piece_of_recreational_equipment                             was squarely in their                             @location_for_recreation                             ;                             @first_name                             knew where to find me.

By this time, the issue was not about an opinion around which we clearly disagreed, it was about                             @first_name                             not having the courage to face me, and instead sending me molotov cocktails from relative safety of                             @first_name                             's                             building                             .

                            @first_name                             never sought me out.

Life moved forward. I faced new, even more distressing problems. I moved on.

And I got an invitation to a                             event                             . Just like that. No hint that we needed to discuss anything, no mention of the                             adjective                                                         animal                             in the room. Just an invitation.

I called and said that we would be in                             location                             but didn't                             @first_name                             think that we ought to discuss what had happened between us? Like pulling a                             animal                             out of a                             receptacle                             ,                             @first_name                             reluctantly agreed.

We met in a                             public_area                             . There was polite chit chat. It looked like I was, in the end, still going to have to bring up the cause of all the turmoil. And I did.

'In the end it wasn't your initial                             form_of_communication                             that got me, it was your judgment of my                             verb_ending_in_ing                             skills and insistence without every talking to me directly that became the greater problem.'

'I was scared of you,'                             @first_name                             said.

'Because I was mad?' I asked. 'So what? People get mad and then move on, but you never even gave me the chance.'

There were tears. It was ugly. I was still feeling bitterly betrayed, and                             @first_name                             was still obviously terrified of the tiny ball of fury that was seething across the                             piece_of_furniture                             .

I went to                             location                             .                             @first_name                             went to                             location                             .

We run into each other at                             public_area                             , and make polite conversation. It's perfectly adult and polite. But there's the seed of my mistrust and I still feel the sting of the conflict. I have no idea how                             @first_name                             feels about it now.

And I probably never will.